Parallel universe

I had two dreams last night, or this morning. When one wakes up from a dream in the morning, one had to be dreaming in the morning, right? The first one, which I may have had while it was still night, was about a boy I used to know and was in love with, except that he was kind-of-skinnier, and had caramel-instead-of-dark hair, and it was only when I looked at his legs that I realised it would never have worked out between us.

He lived in the house  with other people, across the road from where I was, and I was watching them, looking into the house through the open door, wishing I was there,  I think. But there was some problem, some issue, and somehow he had brothers and a father and they were all upset, and I was trying to make peace. And then I noticed his legs and then I think that was the end.

The other dream was about work. I was in some formal, conference centre type place where there was lots of activity.  I had sent an e-mail to Tony Leon asking him for an interview. After a break (like tea-time) I came back to my laptop which had been set up in an open area, and saw that he had sent a reply. It was complete gibberish. Just then, many people started flowing back towards some other area, as if the break was over and they were “going back in”, through the place where I was and I recognised Mr Leon. “Mr Leon!” I said. “I am Elizabeth.” And he stopped and turned, and knew who I was talking about.

I fell into step next to him and talked about an interview. He explained that the rest of his day was very busy, and that later he and his wife would go for a run. His jacket fell open and I saw that he had an enormous gut under a white, striped shirt. I wondered, a little fascinated, if he was a regular runner. There was the implication that the next day it would be impossible to do an interview, so I asked him if I could get a crew that afternoon, if he could give me an hour, and he said yes.

So I ran to find a crew. I called the producer, who was in my phone as Audery. Just like that, with the “e” before the “r”. It rang and rang, but she did not answer. I crossed a hilly, green, natural auditorium, where lots of media/press people had been set up, stills and video, and were waiting for the state of the nation address by JZ. As I saw them I thought it might be impossible to get a crew, they are going to have to be there.

I ran into the production office, phone still ringing, and saw that Audery, with a red bob, was doing nothing. There were other women in the office, one was just sitting staring into space and making a peculiar sound with a bell-rattle type instrument. The sound irritated me so I took the instrument away. I felt bossy and cross to find such complete incompetence. Two other women sat down at desks. I said something about how do they manage to be five people in such a small space. I tried to put my stuff down but it was difficult to move or find a place for it in the room.

And then I woke up.

I dream often and with detail, but I rarely remember my dreams. I love it when I do because they are so crazy.

I saw Boris yesterday and gave The Deeper Meaning of Liff back, and we had a little catch-up of his life, my life, life in general. I like chatting to him because he is the only person with whom I can theorise wildly about philosophy and life with very little knowledge of Foucault (me) and Rousseau (him, although I think he knew more, on average) and the rights of the individual, as opposed to those of the group. I had read a chapter on Stephen Toulmin in the bath earlier, and in Human Understanding he apparently tried to “correct philosophy’s repeated error of identifying reason with logic”, which made complete sense to me. And then Boris proceeded to the common understanding and necessary agreement without which logic would not be possible, and I mentioned that this agreement is based on what we are taught is, or what we internalise as, real, not what might be, actually, real (getting back to Foucault). This morning I found that Nietzsche would so have agreed with this, having said that “Logic, too, also rests on assumptions that do not correspond to anything in the real world.” (Wild, as I mentioned, but a lot of fun.)

And then I came home to work on my essay. It’s going very badly, at this stage. There is just so much to read in the beginning. I have to go back there now.


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